Dad - Eulogy

I once heard a paradox another family revealed: "If Dad's gone to heaven, and we're happy about it, then why in the world are we crying?" Obviously, we will miss him, but realize that he is in a better place. I'm sure where he is he can listen to Mario Lanza all day, and "give the business" to anyone who will listen.

When you reflect on his life, today or in the future, please keep in mind that he is at the right hand of God, probably advising him on Joe Torre's next move, or what the Jets should do for a back-up quarterback next season, or who Coach K should start in the Final Four. I will say it's hard for Bob and I to live in Kentucky when your Dad is such a Duke fan. Tyler always reminded Pop Pop that you couldn't spell Duke without UK! Go Wildcats, Pop Pop!

Honor him with a quiet reverence? No - quiet was not Dad's style. We all appreciated his zest for life, and his accomplishments have been many. Anyone who knew Dad recognized that he always gave to those in need, and was driven by the help he could offer his church and community. We are so proud of his active participation in youth programs, and touching the lives of so many. You couldn't turn a corner in Newburgh without being reminded of who knew Hugo, and you certainly couldn't run a red light or skip school, because he would find out about it even before you got home!

As children, the four of us remember how he taught us to play cards, including poker (with NOTHING wild, of course), and he loved to play solitaire and show us card tricks. He enjoyed playing cards at the family gatherings, claiming he always "broke even," and Uncle Paul, Uncle Al, Uncle Vince, Glenn, Aunt Ginny or Phil always lost big.

He taught us to fish (oh, 3 out of 4 of us - I hated putting that worm on the line), and it was one of his greatest loves, including the pack of Bering Plaza cigars he brought along to share with Jack and Dale (or so he said) at Crestview on those Friday nights not so long ago. He loved to eat, and always left a trail of cigar ashes in the fridge for Mom to clean.

He was so proud of his brother, Ettore, who was his best friend. He was your biggest fan. To Mom's sisters, brothers and their spouses. Even with his teasing and taunting, he always felt like you were his own family. To Tom and Joyce - he was so happy to make you a Kentucky Colonel.

He loved children, and they all adored him. Although large in stature, and wearing those dark glasses, it never seemed to faze a small Kelly, or a baby Michelle, and little Olivia brought a smile to his face even in these last months. He adored each of his grandchildren, and as he lifted his hand high above each of their heads from that kitchen chair on Oxford Road, he questioned why his hand was not getting any higher, that they weren't growing, and he would laugh and laugh…and the kids would challenge their Pop Pop early on and humor him later. Then he would slice them apples for dessert, even when his arthritis was bothering him. Apples always tasted better when Pop Pop sliced them!

He had some memorable phrases and sayings. Just a few examples to make us smile: Cut it out, Pop Pop…To Christy, Lauren and Steven: that's Yucky Charms, not Lucky Charms…Hello there hotshot...if you have your health, you have everything…not MY kids…big and roomy...don't let the doorknob hit you in the can…nothing worth having ever comes easily… just like two bunnies in a burlap bag…Buy American…and Tyler's favorite… I'm gonna turn you upside down. I'm certain that each of you in this congregation could think of a saying or two…he had so many memorable ones.

He loved all of his hotshot nephews, as he called them, and his many wonderful nieces. He was proud of each and every one of you, and made sure that you knew what plans he had for you, right Paul?

But, the center of his life: his wife and children, as evidenced in this note he gave to each us over 20 years ago. He entitled it

"My Time has Come."

In his own words…
My dreams of my youth have been fulfilled.
The joy and happiness of my first daughter,
Gave way to enormous pride and dignity of my first son.
The arrival of my second daughter and son brought me to ecstatic heights of accomplishment.
The blessing of God giving me a perfect wife completed my circle of total achievement.
Through the years of my children's development and education,
My blessings of goodness and clarity of love embellished on me by my wife and children gave me a euphoric feeling of super emotion,
And now in my waning years, I find an even greater blessing in my grandchild.
Perhaps my monetary gain has not been adequate, but rest assured my legacy of family will always endure.
Thank you God, for You have been kind To a man who holds his head high and still is of sound mind.

We all feel so fortunate that Dad's mind was clear to the end, and that he did not physically suffer. We each had one-on-one time with him, and we are grateful for that.

I'd like to end with an excerpt from Revelation 21, which was reflected in today's reading:

He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, for the old order has passed away. The one who sat on the throne said, "Behold, I make all things new."